View Full Version : Some Things are Unforgivable

07-15-2013, 10:54 PM
In 2013, it is no longer a secret that men cheat all the time and in a lot of cases, women cheat as well. But I want to emphasis the fact that us women are quick to forgive a man that cheated on us or executed other deplorable acts, such as verbal or physical abuse but we are not so easy to forgive a friend after a minor disagreement. I think that when a woman loves a man, she loves hard and it is hard for her to let him go. I am one of those women that stood by my ex-boyfriend when he cheated on me, had sex with another woman in front of me, made me sleep on the couch while he brought women to our house, and verbally and physically abused me. That was four years age and I finally got the strength and the courage to leave and never look back. To amazement, I am okay and well and that was the best decision I ever made.

A lot of the time, women can't see themselves having a life without their significant other, especially if they were with this person for more than 5 years like I was. But it is imperative that you be a woman and stand up for your respect. One you forgive a man that has cheated or did other things to you, they are more than likely going to do it again because they now realize that you are not going anywhere.

I don't think women or men should tolerate someone who isn't going to be faithful. I do believe that there are people out there that are faithful but they are hard to find because they are out numbered. Don't waste your time with a man that can't give you the respect that you deserve, you only live once and you should spend it happy and not hoping that someone will change and be faithful. Some things are unforgivable and cheating should be one of them.

damaris mugo
07-16-2013, 10:52 AM
unforgivable is not the actual word because marriage is all about endurance, trust and forgiveness, but I would strongly advocate for faithfulness especially in this times and age of so many venereal diseases, nobody wants to be in and out of hospital for having been infected by a spouse.
We have seen people commit so many atrocities and are forgiven but its really hurting to have someone dear to you hurting your feeling and from a christian point of view the bible says that we should forgive seventy times seven times per day.
The bottom line remains that we should forgive easily but the bible also says that we should treat other people the way we would want them treat us. Forgiveness clears your heart and eases your burden of having to carry bitterness and grudges.

07-16-2013, 02:25 PM
I feel like this is a sensitive subject that everyone will deal with in their own way. However my own two cents on this topic would be that it is very healthy to forgive on many various subjects but when it comes to having your loyalty betrayed then I feel like a person crossed that line that should have never been crossed.
I honestly find it one of the worst ways to disrespect your partner and cheating in general to me is betrayal no matter how someone switches the words. I feel like if I forgave this person and just continued life like nothing happened then I would be lying to myself because I would rather leave this person the moment I found out.
Therefore in my opinion I wouldn't be able to stay with them because they disrespected me.

07-18-2013, 02:45 PM
There is a difference between forgiveness and remembering what happened, then never forgiving them and always letting it bother you. It is very hard to forgive someone who has done something so terrible, since there is such a connection between you and them. Forgiveness is not for that person, it is for yourself! Forgiveness means you are letting go of your own grudge that you, yourself hold against the person. I'm talking in general, about anything that is not forgiven. It will always eat away at you; it takes time to forgive, believe me, but once it is done you will feel much better. Now, I'm not saying just because you forgive him you should go back into a relationship with him, but its for yourself.

07-21-2013, 09:37 AM
I agree, I think the main reason a lot of women stay is because it's hard to change habits. Once you have been with a person for over a year they become part of you habits and hurts you be without them. But a lot of people need to realize is that eventually you will stop hurting if you leave that person so sometimes it's just best to move on.

11-16-2013, 02:59 PM
Forgiveness is extremely important and the most important one that we need to forgive is ourselves. When someone has cheated me or treated me badly I, at some point, will beat myself up for putting myself in that position. Its not a truth but that's how I feel. Forgiving is forgiving, and just because I forgive doesn't mean that I have to be around that person anymore. I can forgive and walk away, the most important thing is to do the forgiving because lingering resentment is destructive to my well being.

01-09-2014, 04:39 PM
I wouldn't be able to forgive cheating. Even if I managed to forgive the person for what they've done, I wouldn't be able to trust them again. It's not just about forgiving. It's the kind of thing that will always stay with you, even when you try to move on. I wouldn't be able to continue a relationship where I couldn't trust my significant other. I know that for some women, other factors are involved, like children or marriage and I understand that. But I know that my happiness would be shattered and I wouldn't be able to continue. Just because you end a relationship with a person, doesn't mean you become the enemy all of a sudden. Changes would have to be made. They could never go back to being the same.

01-11-2014, 04:38 AM
I know some things should be unforgivable in our life, however we are defeated some time from our life due to love and affection for our partner.

01-13-2014, 02:46 AM
Well, I wouldn't forgive my boyfriend if he were to cheat on me. I wouldn't stay with him. I would leave. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. When you decide to be in a relationship with someone, that is like silently saying that you want to be with them, and them only.

02-19-2014, 09:00 PM
I don't fear being alone, so if a man I love cheated on me, I wouldn't be afraid to end the relationship. It would be a way scarier prospect staying with a man who I didn't trust or respect anymore. I also have enough faith, that although there are men and women that cheat that there are still plenty of honorable men who wouldn't dream of cheating on their partner.

02-28-2014, 10:53 AM
It's definitely something I wouldn't let pass if I'm cheated on. I'd leave, no doubt about it. BUT. I think it would call for some introspection - perhaps just a quick self-check if I had shortcomings I could improve on (which are not necessarily excuse enough to be cheated on, but are nonetheless important to know).

I would forgive, though. It's difficult to live with grudges. I can learn, forgive, and let go in time; but I won't get back into a relationship with anyone who has done me that much wrong. I just think I'd forgive a person because I deserve some inner peace.

03-01-2014, 03:02 AM
I agree with Joey. I have been cheated on in the past and the breaking of that trust just doesn't allow for a relationship to continue as far as I'm concerned. That doesn't mean I want to dwell on it and make my life terrible just because someone didn't value a bond I placed faith in. I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about heartbreaking stuff like this anymore.